Image of the Week

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Today marks the 30th anniversary of the Miracle On Ice, USA's epic victory against the dominant Soviet ice hockey team. This week's image, autographed by goaltender Jim Craig, depicts the underdog Americans celebrating after their 4-3 victory.

The 2010 USA Olympic squad celebrated by upsetting Canada in front of nearly 20,000 raucous Candians. The Canucks, favored to win Gold, even by the viewer of this blog, fell 5-3 to the Americans on Sunday, marking the first US victory over Canada in Men's Olympic Ice Hockey in 50 years.

The event was so rare that ESPN went against their policy of ignoring hockey to compose a parody of "Oh Canada." A follower of this blog, who has contributed some fine literature in the past, found this lovely rendition and was kind enough to send me a notification. (If you would like to write a post or let me know about something interesting, feel free to email me at FantasyGuru37@gmail.com.) Enjoy.

"No Canada"

No, Canada
You lost to Uncle Sam
We'll take the gold
You laid down like a lamb
With frying pans you tended goal
We scored on you at will
From far and wide, Oh Canada
We're scoring on you still.
God keep your nets
Wide open and emp-ty
O Canada
We scored five goals on thee
O Canada
U.S. with gold you'll see!

Samuel L. Jackson had some detailed analysis of the Americans upset of the USSR. You may find that interesting.

Do you believe in miracles?

Apology From the Guru

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Allow me to start by saying I am terribly sorry that seven long days passed without me endowing you with the guru's infinite wisdom. I understand that you, my devoted followers (Click the link on the sidebar to follow me!), have difficulty getting through the day without the guru’s frequent insight. In the event that the guru is ever unable to bestow his knowledge upon you, I encourage you to click the newest link on the sidebar "Guru Withdrawal Hotline." This will take you to a place where people will help you deal with your content abatement. Hopefully this extended withdrawal will not occur again. Let me assure you that the guru has been occupied with urgent matters, the likes of which would blow your mind.

But he has a special gift to offer in hopes of softening the devastation his absence has caused. Fully aware that he is jeopardizing his Man Card, the guru has composed a song to the rhythm of Taylor Swift's recent hit, "Love Story." Please enjoy the prelude leading up to the song.

Announced earlier this month, Romeo Crennel has been hired as the defensive coordinator of the Kansas City Chiefs. Crennel has spent the last year enjoying the millions of dollars he's earning by not coaching the Cleveland Browns since his termination in 2008.

Picture the following scene to receive the full sensation of the parody. Crennel arrives at home to his wife, Rosemary, after a long day scavenging the streets of Cleveland for all-you-can-eat buffets. She is talking on the phone and lights up when she sees Crennel enter the house.

Romeo, hurry, Bill Pioli's on the phone

I can't believe it, but he's hiring you

You'll coach the D

And he'll be the GM

It's a miracle, baby, just say yessss.

Romeo, right now, put down the ice cream cone

Weis has got plenty, ask real nice, he'll have to share

Pats reunion

Without Belichick

It's a miracle, baby, just say yessss.