Image of the Week

reuters.com

Surprisingly garnering little attention from the media, Usain Bolt was beaten in a track event earlier this month, his first defeat in two years. The Jamaican, owner of world records in both the 100 and 200 meter sprints and reigning Olympic Gold Medalist in both events, turned in the second slowest final time (9.97 seconds) of his career, finishing .13 seconds behind American Tyson Gay. The upset occurred during a Samsung Diamond League event in Stockholm, the same venue where Bolt suffered his previous defeat in 2008. While both runners acknowledged that the Jamaican was not at 100%, it is certainly notable when a world record holder is defeated. More interesting than the NFL preseason? Without a doubt.

NBC's Latest Gaffe

It does not come as a surprise to followers of this blog to see me ripping on NBC. Nor does it come as a surprise to see NBC making mistakes. But I assure you that what you are about to read will change your opinion of the broadcasting company for quite some time. For those of you still willing to give them a chance, I expect that to change. For those of you who hate them with a passion, here's some fuel for that fire. The following will expose NBC for the incompetent, nonsensical company they are.

I have enjoyed a long, successful career (since January) as one of the nation's most popular (18 followers) journalists. I possess a deep understanding of conducting interviews with high-profile athletes (my cousins). Therefore, believe each and every statement I make about the world of journalism.

There are many components to conducting an interview, some more complicated than others. You must identify potential candidates, instill in them an interest to speak with you, create an open, welcoming speaking environment with non-invasive questions. These can be difficult, especially when dealing with high-profile athletes who have little time to waste, more important matters to attend to, and need a complication-free environment to succeed. (cough, remember this, cough)

The easiest step, by far, is to confirm that the person you're interviewing is really the person you say he or she is. When you're famous, people know who you are, what you sound like, your personality, etc. When you're recognized for greatness and considered a hero by your countrymen, you expect these very same countrymen to respect your reputation. It's not too much to ask.

Well, it's too much to ask of NBC. As the starting goaltender for Team USA, Ryan Miller was getting prepared for his Gold Medal Game against either Canada or Slovakia, at which point the competitor was yet to be determined. With little time to waste, important matters to attend to, and in need of a complication-free environment, he was off doing his own thing, minding his own business, trying his best to avoid attention. And that's right where NBC stepped in to throw a wrench into Miller's plans.

As NBC commentator Willie Geist prepared for his interview with Miller, he was likely trying to create the welcoming environment discussed earlier. But because he works for NBC, he was incapable of doing so. The man he was about to speak with was not Ryan Miller. It was a random Joe off the street who felt like pranking our great nation's "must see TV," or so they call themselves.

Being the astute journalist he is, the guru managed to uncover a video of the event. It very clearly and objectively depicts the story that transpires. I highly recommend watching it so that you may gain a fuller grasp on the situation.

First of all, Willie, "deepfully" is not a word. I understand that you aren't on top of your game right now, but a man in your line of work should be able to speak coherently. As for Chris Matthews, he couldn't care less because nobody watches his show anyway.

Here is a video of another interview conducted with Miller. Watch this clip to see Miller speak with a competent broadcaster.

Click this link to see Miller's real personality.

Clearly, Miller is by no means a cocky guy. His character contrasts sharply with that of Joe Schmoe who managed to dupe NBC with nothing but a cell phone. His reputation was put on the line by a company incapable of performing the easiest of tasks correctly. Being the classy guy he is, Miller appeared on NBC to set things straight and accept an apology from the network.

That's where the guru comes in. Most of you are unaware of the incident. You may have heard Miller "guaranteeing" Gold and eating his words. What you likely didn't hear was that the mistake was not his, it was NBC's. Afraid to show the nation their blunder, they made a quick apology on a show few people watch. The guru is here to rectify the situation. Ryan Miller is a class act who was unwillingly put into this situation. He needs every medium possible to salvage his public image. Don't let NBC's error tarnish your view of Miller, a guy who shows nothing but class.

Image of the Week

brisbanetimes.com

This week's image captures Canada's celebration after winning the Gold Medal in Men's Ice Hockey on Sunday. Jarome Iginla slid a pass in overtime to Sidney Crosby, whose 5-hole shot beat tournament MVP Ryan Miller, lifting the hosts over the Americans.

The image is centered around Crosby, who doubles as the posterboy of the NHL and the entire nation of Canada. It is truly fitting that he scored the winning goal. However, to those who had a say, and to the fans in Pittsburgh, Miller was deserving of MVP honors.

However, Crosby will walk away happier, especially after the Penguins win in the rematch against Buffalo two days later.

The entire nation of Canada erupted at once as their team won Gold. The men's victory was preceded by Canada's women's team, who also faced the USA in their Gold Medal Game. Winning Gold, especially against the Americans who given them their only loss, was of indescribable importance to the entire country. In addition to joining the USA with a Gold Medal celebration Image of the Week, the Canadians can once again claim the title of the best hockey country in the world, a title they crave more than any other.

Image of the Week

arcollectibles.com

Today marks the 30th anniversary of the Miracle On Ice, USA's epic victory against the dominant Soviet ice hockey team. This week's image, autographed by goaltender Jim Craig, depicts the underdog Americans celebrating after their 4-3 victory.

The 2010 USA Olympic squad celebrated by upsetting Canada in front of nearly 20,000 raucous Candians. The Canucks, favored to win Gold, even by the viewer of this blog, fell 5-3 to the Americans on Sunday, marking the first US victory over Canada in Men's Olympic Ice Hockey in 50 years.

The event was so rare that ESPN went against their policy of ignoring hockey to compose a parody of "Oh Canada." A follower of this blog, who has contributed some fine literature in the past, found this lovely rendition and was kind enough to send me a notification. (If you would like to write a post or let me know about something interesting, feel free to email me at FantasyGuru37@gmail.com.) Enjoy.

"No Canada"

No, Canada
You lost to Uncle Sam
We'll take the gold
You laid down like a lamb
With frying pans you tended goal
We scored on you at will
From far and wide, Oh Canada
We're scoring on you still.
God keep your nets
Wide open and emp-ty
O Canada
We scored five goals on thee
O Canada
U.S. with gold you'll see!

Samuel L. Jackson had some detailed analysis of the Americans upset of the USSR. You may find that interesting.

Do you believe in miracles?

NBC Update

In the post titled NBC: No Body Cares, I proclaimed my disdain for NBC's treatment and coverage of the NHL. I concluded by saying that they would be allowed one last chance to earn my respect. If they were to improve their coverage at the Olympics, I was willing to quit my public bantering of their actions. The Vancouver Games are not even a week old, and NBC has already managed to infuriate hockey fans, on multiple occasions.

First and foremost, the NHL has painstakingly altered their schedule to allow the players an opportunity to participate and represent their countries, which can only be viewed as a classy action. While many feel that the league should take every step towards granting their players this privilege, this article may change their mind. Commissioner Gary Bettman is considering not allowing NHL players to compete in the 2014 Games. His main point, $2.1 billion: the total value of contracts of all NHL players participating in Vancouver.

The NHL has been forced to alter their typical regular season schedule. Trying to squeeze 82 games into six months is a daunting task even without a 17 day hiatus for the Olympics. Teams have been forced to go on lengthy road trips and travel through blizzards to play on back-to-back nights. The NHL has even cancelled the All Star Game, unable to afford a weekend without regular season games. (The Guru's All Star rosters will be released soon.) Undoubtedly, the league and the players have made many sacrifices for the right to play in the Olympics.

But NBC doesn't care. As a matter of fact, they are taking what amounts to an All Star game, the USA-Canada Olympic matchup on Sunday, and hiding it from viewers. That's right. The game featuring stars like Sidney Crosby, Patrick Kane, and Martin Brodeur is being swept under the rug. Instead of broadcasting what might be the most anticipated showdown of the entire tournament, NBC will entertain (Is that the right word?) America with ice dancing, women's speedskating, men's freestyle skiing and men's giant slalom. Sounds like fun, right?

To NBC, it does. To NBC, women's curling sounds like fun. So does a blowout in women's hockey. Canada's Men's Ice Hockey team (the one with Crosby, Heatley, Thornton, etc.) was scheduled to have their first game of the tournament broadcasted. Everyone and their brother was excited to see how the team would play together, how much they would dominate, and whatever else about what may be the best hockey team ever. Instead of airing the game, NBC decided to stick with a women's curling match involving Japan that ran over its designated time slot. On another channel, NBC was broadcasting the final minutes of 13-0 blowout in women's hockey. So instead of seeing the best in the world, hockey fans were forced to watch these events (?), wondering what had happened to the interesting action taking place in Vancouver.

You may have read the post containing my previous feelings about NBC. I encourage you to do so. You too may develop a distaste for the Peacock. I have received feedback from followers (another thing I encourage you to do) who are also displeased with NBC. One follower went as far to send me this picture showing his bitterness towards the network.

The following image may disturb some of you. In fact, I do not feel comfortable displaying it on this blog. If you wish to view it, you must click the link below. Do so at your own risk. It advocates actions that may seem harsh. I feel they are. However, I also feel that the image fully grasps the feelings hockey fans have about NBC.

Click this link at your own risk. (Editor's Note: The link now works thanks to the help of a fellow blogger. Disregard the video. It has no relevance to this post. While you're there, check out the guy's blog. He's got a nice picture of Lord Stanley's Cup that he took himself. I think anyway, it's kind of a mystery.)

The guru does not support, condone, or encourage the defecation on NBC's properties or logo, nor that of its affiliates or partner stations.

Is the image funny or too graphic? Do you contemplate cutting off you ears every time you hear Mike Emrick's voice? I understand that the intent was probably to minimize his speaking role, but whose idea was it to let Edzo run the telestrator? Is ice dancing more exciting than Olympics hockey? Let me know in the comment section.

Olympic Hockey Preview

Tonight it the opening night of Men's Olympic Ice Hockey, meaning that the game will be brought to us in its highest quality. (Quite frankly, women's hockey isn't nearly as exciting.) While I have not been able to devote much time to analyzing the rosters, I am here to give a quick breakdown of the contenders. Enjoy.

USA: A lot of people are writing off the Americans, but I don't see why. Neither does defenseman Jack Johnson. These guys have talent. As mentioned in previous posts, goaltender Ryan Miller is at the top of his game. While Tim Thomas has struggled this season, he's the reigning Vezina Trophy winner. A change in scenery might propel him back to last year's excellence. They have depth on defense. (Ryan Whitney got the call to replace the injured Paul Martin.) This includes both physical, shutdown defenders like Brooks Orpik, as well as powerplay quarterbacks like Brian Rafalski. Offensively, they have the star power to put pucks in the net. Guys like Patrick Kane, Paul Stastny, and Zach Parise know how to score. They have the grinders as well. Ryan Malone falls into this category. They have what it takes to contend in Vancouver. They combine for seven Stanley Cup rings, not including GM Brian Burke, with many more Finals appearances. Most importantly, they are young and fast. Only five players were born before the Miracle On Ice.

Canada: Any hockey fan with a pulse will tell you that the Canadians are intense feeling pressure to win Gold. I'm telling you it's true, but I'm not going deeper than that. You're welcome. There's debate over whether GM Steve Yzerman has selected the best the country has to offer. That's trivial. Find one player on that roster that can't compete at the highest level. The only issue is their age. Nine players are over age thirty, including two defensemen over thirty five. Keep an eye on that.

Russia: The Russians are absolutely stacked on offense. Ilya Kovalchuk on the second line? Only because he's behind a guy named Ovechkin. They will score. And Score. And Score. Will they be able to keep the puck out of their ow net? Evgeni Nabokov has stood on his head this season (.928 SV%), but he has started eighteen games already in 2010. Fatigue may become a factor.

Sweden: The Swedes took Gold in Torino, but this time around I don't see them repeating. They will live and die by the play of Henrik Lundqvist, who backstopped the 2006 team. The two goalies behind him, Jonas Gustavsson and Stefan Liv of the Swedish Elite League, do not have what it takes to lead a team to the podium. This team has some studs, but I don't think they have the depth other countries do. The Sedin twins will tear it up, as will Henrik Zetterberg and Nicklas Backstrom. However, this team features a lot of players past their prime. Six players on this squad were born before 1975. They will miss the presence of grinder Tomas Holmstrom, who is out with a knee injury.

Finland: This country produces more quality goaltenders than previously thought possible. But none of the three making the trip to Vancouver (Niklas Backstrom, Mikka Kiprusoff, and Antero Nittymaki) have been true standouts in 2009-10. This team has a lot of recognizable names, but few true stars. Don't expect the Silver Medal they earned in Torino.

Czech Republic: As with Finland, a lot of these players will sound familiar, but none of them are elite players. Does Tomas Vokoun still have what it takes to continue the goaltending dominance set forth by Dominik Hasek? I don't think so. Any team with Jaromir Jagr is destined for failure.

At the end of the day, nobody will be able to compete with Canada, as long as they play to their full potential. Sweden will be pushed by the Americans, but we've seen how successful Detroit has been with the European style of hockey. One thing to keep an eye on is that the games will be played on an NHL rink, not one with the typical oversized International dimensions. Chalk up an advantage to any team with a roster full of NHL players. (USA and Canada) The rosters for all teams can be found here.

Prediction:

Gold: Canada

Silver: Russia

Bronze: Sweden

Image of the Week

AP

This week's image depicts NHL legend Mario Lemieux celebrating Team Canada's Gold Medal in the 2002 Winter Olympics. At Salt Lake City, Lemieux recorded six points in five games, captaining the Canadians to an impressive 5-2 victory over the USA in the Gold Medal Game. It was the first Gold Medal Team Canada had won in 50 years, ending the country's longest drought in International play.

The Canadians are favored to take Gold again in Vancouver, hosting the Games for the first time since 1988. This time, Lemieux will not sport the Maple Leaf. Instead, Scott Neidermayer, a native of British Columbia, will serve as captain. The man who inherited Lemieux's captaincy in Pittsburgh, superstar Sidney Crosby (who lives with Lemieux), will make his first Olympic appearance.